#17 - MVS Implemented
Last week we asked you about the things that you wanted to know and read a blog about. We got the question of how we implement our MVS. So that's what we're writing about today! It's become a little lengthier than usual, but I hope that the question is being answered completely and clearly like this.
Do you also have an idea for a blog? We like writing about things that are interesting to you the most, so let us know in the comments or send us a message!
Voor everyone who doesn't remember (anymore), about six weeks ago we posted a blog about our mission, vision, and strategy (MVS), and with that also our family pillars. You can find it back here:
Our mission, vision, and strategy to us form the picture (and the global effect of it) that we have for how our kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids are known in (let's say) 100 years. We want to make this more practical through our pillars. So to answer our very first question, we'll look deeper into the implementation of the pillars. But first some basic-approach things :)
In a lot of the situations we run into with our kids, we try to act from these pillars and point them towards our family-values. This way we hope to build a culture in our family early on, so we can build on that as they get older.
We take the 'train up your child' verse in Proverbs very seriously. We function as a team, also in the way that we actually train with our team. We look at situations that we can encounter during the 'game' (when we're out of the house) and try to address them preventively. So if, for example, we notice that our kids have a hard time coming when we call them in a relaxed setting, we'll take that home. There we train in a game-like way to come every time we call them (kind of like how you'd do it with puppies). That way, when we're in a situation that it actually matters that they listen right away, they are used to the way we practiced and these situations get easier every time. We don't only do this with potential problems, but also with our pillars.
The Pillars
1. De story of generations
The most obvious step of this one is that we try to spend a lot of time with the grandparents. Besides that Ramon and I are committed to getting to know as many stories about 'the old days' as we can. Our goal is that we can let the kids talk with them a lot and ask a lot of questions to our (grand)parents. Something I (Lianne) really want to do, is recording stories, so we can let them hear to our kids and they to their (grand) children. Imagine how much wisdom and life lessons can be passed on this way!
2. We're a team and not competitors.
We think it's important to have attention for all the talents and interests of all the members of our family. Not everyone on their own island, but be really involved in each other's lives. That's why, when the kids are older, we and the siblings will go to sports games, recitals and other things. We are implementing this already by involving the whole family in the things that Ramon and I are doing. When possible, we all go with to a video-assignment of Ramon and when I am part of a video-clip as a background choir, Ramon and the kids join too. The good part is that it's not just really fun. The kids learn a lot by seeing us working and interacting with other people. After all, that's how they learned back in the old days before school too.
Now that the kids are still young, we're bringing this pillar into our culture by very small things. Language and choice of words are very important because there is a lot of power in words. We mention that we're a team multiple times a day, as well as that we need each other to succeed in the goal that God has for us and our family.
In our toy-policy (all the toys are everyone's, not of one kid), in having and resolving arguments (how do you work this out as a team?), in almost every aspect of our lives being a team has a big role.
Being the oldest child, and with that being the team leader, Jeremiah gets pretty big responsibilities in this. But with that also extra 1-on-1 time to train and educate him in being a good leader to and for his siblings.
3. We live according to God's rhythms.
At the very beginning of the bible, God incorporates the Sabbath in the normal, weekly rhythm. Next to that, there's a couple of feasts named in the Bible that God designed and thought were really important. They were so important that He gave extra meaning to them through the life-events of Jesus. As a family, we want to live according to those rhythms that God set. We believe that that's the best way to bring peace (shalom) into our house. We started by keeping Sabbath (= Saturday) as our day of rest, including a big dinner on Friday nights that the kids are always looking forward too.
4. We communicate openly, honestly and equally.
We strive to not keep the communication in our family superficial but to also communicate with the kids on a deeper level. Of course, they are still young, but we think it' important for them to be able and safe to express their emotions but in a good and balanced way. We do this by training (see above) situations that can cause big emotions for them. As the kids get older we want them to know that no subject is too weird or awkward to discuss with us. We want them to know that our family is the best and safest place to share what's in their hearts. That's why Ramon and I are very open (of course taking into consideration their ages) about situations and our opinions about them, our own emotions and our own trains of thought.
We have some rules of communication too, that Ramon and I follow ourselves, but as the kids get older they will be applied to them too. Because this blog is already a bit lengthy, we won't go deeper into those rules right now :)
5. We're generous in time, material, attention, and gratitude.
Time/Attention: Time might be the most valuable currency nowadays. Calendars fill up quickly, but we teach the kids that there's always something more important than school, church or work: people. That's why we change our (homeschool)plans as much as we can when there's someone that needs help.
Money/Material: We believe and teach the children that everything on this planet is by, for and of God and that we can give the things we have back to Him. In the current age of the kids we do this mainly in stuff: we have a few bless-with-your-blessing days per year. The time after birthdays and Christmas we go through all our stuff and we donate the stuff we have in abundance to people who aren't in that position.
Besides that, we already give small bible lessons on tithing and the principle of that in God's Word.
Gratitude: We ask the kids what went well today, what they're happy about and thank God very specifically for all the things He has been giving. Also towards the kids, we tell them very specifically that we're grateful for them and their behavior. We talk with them about the importance of expressing things like that to other people, so people know that they and their actions are being seen.
6. We're creative
Ramon and I try to show being creative as much as we can, next to experiment with all forms of creativity with the kids (for example during homeschool). Sometimes, creativity is also found in problem-solving. That form of creativity is extra important to call out so that the kids see that creativity is not only about DIY'ing and crafting.
While we do this, we've noticed that Jeremiah can be really perfectionistic (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree of course). In this we remind him (and ourselves) that striving for quality should never come in the place of the enjoyment of creating things.
7. We're adventurous and try new things at least once.
Right now we live this mostly by the last part: trying new things. This goes for tasting foods, but also with things that we and the kids think are scary. Of course, this doesn't only count for the kids; when we think that things are hard or scary, we'll tell our kids about that (pillar 4). And then we add to that: but the Bakker's are adventurous and we try new things, so we're just going to try!
Next week we'll answer the second question we got: recommendations for books and other resources!
In our vision and mission is stated that we want to help as many places as possible to get a healthy culture. That's why it's so super important to put a lot of time and energy into our own family first. Do you want to work with us to support and strengthen as many places as possible? Then become a (monthly) partner of Bakkers Beyond Borders!