#18 - Recommendations

The second question we got was if it would be possible to share some reading tips about family life. So here goes. 

Books that I have already read and why I thought they were so good/important

1. Loving your kids on purpose (Danny Silk) 
   By far my favorite book when it comes to parenting. I read this book (the first time) when Jeremiah had just turned two and got into his 'no! and I will get angry if I don't get my way'-phase. I started reading the book feeling a little skeptical because I was scared it would be a soft kids-are-allowed-to-do-anything book. But throughout the book and during cautiously applying things, I found out Jeremiah's toddler tantrums decreased significantly if I gave him options (within my own boundaries). Also now, I notice that, even with 4 years old, he's very good at reasoning and making choices on his own, based on his reasoning. 
   
   It turns out it's most definitely nog a soft way of raising your kids; it might even be a lot more difficult for kids (or especially for the surroundings that see how you handle things) because your kids actually get the responsibility for the consequences of their choices. Raising them this way makes me as a parent a lot more relaxed and I feel like my kids are way more independent. 
   

2. Children and the supernatural (Jennifer Toledo)
   The whole book is a report of situations Jennifer Toledo has seen and experienced with kids that were encouraged to listen to the Holy Spirit from a young age on. 
   
   The book was a real eye-opener for me. We do not have to wait to introduce the Holy Spirit and the supernatural until the kids are mature. You can already explain and introduce it all in a very relaxed way because kids will handle and accept the supernatural in a much more natural way than us adults.
    

3. Missional Motherhood (Gloria Furman) 
   Definitely not my favorite book on the list, but that's mainly because the style of writing didn't really fit me and I had a really hard time getting through the book. But the concent of the book is good, beautiful, uplifting and very necessary for every woman, not just those who are mothers. 
   
   The premise Gloria writes about is that every woman has been made to 'mother', not just kids, but also the people around her. In a very detailed way, she shows how God has called us women to follow are calling as care-givers.
   

4. The five love languages (Gary Chapman)
   Initially, I've read this book while preparing for my marriage, but a little while ago I realized how super-convenient it can be in raising our offspring. Jeremiah and Ziva have two completely different personalities, that need completely different approaches. 
   
   For example, Jeremiah's love languages are touch and encouraging words. I can be very conscious in using those when he does something right or wrong, but also in choosing the activities with/for him. To Jeremiah sitting on my lap while I encourage him in reading a book can be all he needs for our 1-on-1 time, but for Ziva (serving and spending time together) a trip to the grocery store is like a big present, because it's the two of us and she can help me put stuff in the shopping cart.
   

5. Culture of honor (Danny Silk)
   Originally, the book has been written to help build a healthy culture in churches, schools or organizations, but I feel like it's definitely applicable to families. Loving your kids on purpose (book #1) is somewhat of an implementation of the Culture of Honor for kids, but if you want to learn more about the culture that's behind 'Loving your kids on purpose', I'd definitely recommend you read this book.

Books that I still want to read and why

1. To hell with the hustle (Jefferson Bethke)
   I've only read the first few chapters of this book, but it instantly became one that was on top of my to-read list. Jeff Bethke is a writer that in a very relaxed and informal way basically wipes the floor with the super swamped-lifestyle of nowadays. With compelling research, he convinced me from the first chapters on, that our current culture of always needing to be more, faster and better aren't always good nor biblical! I can't wait for the book to come in so that I can continue reading! 
   

2. A family guide to the Biblical Holidays (Linda Pierce)
   As you could've read in our MVS (blog #12) and the implementation of it (blog #17), as a family we're striving to live according to the biblical rhythms more and more. While we have learned quite a lot from our time in Israel, we really want to read this book to find fun, creative ways to integrate the biblical feasts into our family more and more. 
   

3. Shabbat Table Talks (Rabbi Ralph Tawil)
   Also related to the biblical rhythms, we've been treating Friday nights and Saturdays as our day of rest. A very important part of that day of rest is conversations and stories (those are also key to be a multigenerational family). In Israel, Friday night meals are the ultimate moment for parents to talk with their kids about God's word. Ralph's book is filled with practical tips and tools to use during those family-meals. 
   
   Of course, we're a little biased since Ralph and his wife are practically family, but because of that, we know how they do their Sabbath-meals. That's what we really want for our family too, so I'm super curious to read the book. 

PODCASTS

1. Five Minute Fatherhood
   A previously daily, but now 3x per week podcast of 10 minutes maximum that very briefly gives you a tip, tool or bible verse that you can use while you build a family. The name of the podcast shows that it's focussed on fathers, but 50% of their listeners are women, so the podcast is for everyone! If you like the content of this podcast, they also make longer podcasts in which fathers are being interviewed. These fathers are already building their families very intentionally and are asked how. For me, there's always a lot of fun and creative ideas and food for thought in them. 
   
   I've been listening to both of the podcasts from the beginning, and it really inspired me and Ramon. We already saw a lot of things that we wanted to do differently, but of which we didn't really know how to start doing them. These podcasts really helped in that!

2. Abraham’s Wallet
   I only discovered this podcast recently. It's not on raising kids immediately, but on budgeting and biblically handling your money. And with that, I feel like it is about raising your kids. Because if we, as parents, know how to handle our money well, it's something we can teach our kids from a young age. It's a fun podcast, again targetting men, but I think it's possible to listen to it as a woman too.

That's a wrap, our list of recommendations. Next week we'll answer two questions that we've been getting a lot in the last couple of weeks: When are you going to the USA? And what's the plan after you get back?